One of the phrases parents and practitioners hear most often when they first encounter Floortime® is “follow the child’s lead.” Almost immediately, parents wonder: what if the child just runs around, spins a wheel, opens and closes a door, or repeats the same action? Do we simply watch?
No. Following the child’s lead doesn’t mean giving up the adult’s role. It means beginning with understanding: what matters to the child right now, and how can I join their interest and support connection?
The child’s interest is neither trivial nor a whim. It is a way into their emotional world. Through their interests, children show us where they find energy, pleasure, tension, control, curiosity, and safety. An adult who can notice this finds an opening for connection in what might otherwise be dismissed as “strange behavior.”
For example, a child rolls a toy car along the same route again and again. We could try to stop them and suggest the “right way to play.” Or we could first join their rhythm: notice what they enjoy, where they anticipate repetition, and where we might add a brief pause, a sound, an obstacle, a glance, or a moment of anticipation. Rolling a car becomes a small circle of communication: the child acts, the adult responds, the child notices, the adult adds something, and the child reacts.
This is where development begins. Not because the adult has defeated repetition, but because repetition has become a bridge to doing something together.
Following the child’s lead in DIRFloortime® means following their emotional experience while remaining actively involved. The adult joins in and then very gently adds complexity: a choice, a pause, a funny surprise, or a small problem they can solve together.
It is essential that this challenge feels like an invitation rather than a test. If the child becomes overwhelmed, withdraws, grows more tense, or loses connection, our step was too large. We need to return to regulation, enjoyment, and the place where the child can be with us again.
In good Floortime®, we do not leave the child alone with their interest or force them into our own story. The adult meets the child where they already are and helps that experience become a little more alive, reciprocal, and developmental.
This is subtle work. That is precisely why it is so valuable: it teaches us to see the child as a partner in interaction rather than an object to be corrected.
ICDL reference: Following the Child’s Lead and Challenging the Child at the Same Time.
Online DIR 101: preliminary registration
If you would like a systematic introduction to the approach, preliminary registration is open for an introductory online DIR 101 course taught in Russian. Once we have a group of 5–6 people, we will find a time that works for everyone and schedule the course on the ICDL Institute (USA) website. Registering your interest does not commit you to paying.
Related reading in English
- Supporting Neurodivergent Clients: Recommendations for Practitioners, Part 1
- Neurodiversity and Neurodivergence: What Is the Difference?
- Regulation and Self-Regulation
- A Child’s Individual Profile in DIRFloortime®
- High Sensitivity in Neurodivergent People
Neurodivergence resources · DIRFloortime® · Sessions, training, and supervision